Humor

Life Without the Box

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Remove your hats, please, and bow your heads for a moment of silence.  My television has died.  Yes, after twelve years of faithful service and a power reset Old Sony has given up the ghost.  Cruel fate!  Already she’s dealt me two sucker punches.  First, my employer informed me the company is decommissioning their IBM AS/400 and me along with it (although, to her credit, the boss put it much more nicely).  Second, I twisted wrong the other night and threw my back out.  And now this.  Alas!  If only Old Sony could have held on for another six weeks.  My lease ends the month after my employment does and I am putting most of my stuff in storage and moving to temporary digs for the summer.  But when you gotta go, you gotta go, and that applies to hardware, too.  I have to accept it was just Old Sony’s time.  It is what it is.  From my perspective I now have three options:

  1. Have the old set repaired.  However, it seems like once the repairs start, they never end.  Who knows what else is ready to burn or wear out?  Besides, as far as electronics go, Old Sony is pretty long in the tooth, which brings me to the second option. . .
  2. Replace the set.  However, in six weeks the new set will have to go into storage, so why bother?  That leaves me with  (Shudder!  Gasp!). . .
  3. Simply do without the blasted television.

(I suppose I could have added “Visit Rent-a-Center” to the list; but then I wouldn’t have an article to post.)

At any rate, I’ve chosen option 3.  After all, my life began without television, and even now I know people who wouldn’t have one in the house.  I have other interests.  How hard could it be?  My right eye twitches and my hands start to shake as the DT’s set in.  Six weeks!  I stare across the room at Old Sony and Old Sony vacantly stares back.  Six weeks without blood and gore, depressing news programs, families and exes screaming curses at each other, and reality shows that annoy more than entertain me.  Six weeks with no courtroom dramas, soap operas, and game shows.  How many nights have I flipped through the channels, grumbling at having nothing worthwhile to watch?  In my opinion, TV offerings are like college degrees.  Most are BS.  Update your service and you get more of the same.  Buy the premium package and you’ve got more of the same piled higher and deeper.  Maybe you’ll gain another channel or two that tickles your fancy, but is it worth the cost of the upgrade?  I do like the Saturday night “Brit-coms” PBS carries (although the Bucket woman irritates me no end), but aside from an occasional old movie or nature program I garner little enjoyment from most of what I watch.  Trouble is, I’ve come home some nights with a long to-do list but sat down first to watch a little television while I ate.  Suddenly, BAM!  The ten o’clock news was on and I’d accomplished nothing.  Like a rushing river time raced by as I sat, lulled into brain-numbed apathy by that hypnotic glow across the room.

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I have to be honest though:  Just minutes ago, unable to accept Old Sony’s demise, I tried a couple more power resets in a vain attempt to revive him.  Old Sony just uttered some half-hearted clicks and feebly flashed his standby light.  “Get a clue, woman!  I ain’t doin’ nothin’ till I get some service!”

All right, time to stop beating this poor dead horse and move on to other things, such as blogging in earnest and putting out more than one post a week.  I love to blog and I have the ideas; I just need to write them out.  Concerning the to-do list, I could take care of one or two items each evening, rather than putting everything off until the already-full weekend.  We’re enjoying delightful weather now, and these beautiful evenings were made to enjoy outside.   I can hear my bike calling even now.  I could even learn how to play that 12-string guitar!  And if nothing else, I need to pack.  Right now I am simply enjoying the peace and quiet.

All right, I’ve got a plan and a mission.  But if you see a white SUV streaking down the highway with a rabid blond at the wheel and a big flatscreen tied on top it’s probably me.

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Humor

Computerspeak For Farmers

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I was going through my closets this weekend doing some spring cleaning when I came across a piece of paper containing some folksy, whimsical definitions of I/T terms.  I don’t remember where I got it or who thought these up but, having grown up on a farm and then working as a computer programmer for 30+ years, it stands to reason someone thought I would enjoy them.  I got a chuckle out of them then, and again today as I glanced back over the list, so thought I would share:

MODEM:  What you did to the hay fields.

FLOPPY DISKS:  An indication your machinery needs repair.  (It could also be taken that a visit to the chiropractor or spine doctor is in order.)

HARD DRIVE:  Traveling to town during a blizzard.

DOWNLOAD:  Getting firewood off the pickup.

MEGAHERTZ:  What you end up with if you’re not careful downloading (can contribute to floppy disks).

LOG ON:  What you do to the stove after you download the wood.

KEYBOARD:  Where you hang the keys when you finish work.

COMPUTER:  What you say when you call your dog.

BYTE:  What “Puter” does if you step on his tail.

I could add other, more irreverent descriptions, but it’s Sunday and this is a family site.

Have a great week!  🙂

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